Unspoken Notes of an Actor’s Training Class
God gives everyone certain attributes, characteristics, talents, and then He says, “If you use what you have I’ll increase it, but if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it.” Use it or lose it; it’s a law.” — Charlie “Tremendous” Jones
… What was I suppose to do… it was me against the whole world!...
And when I finally decided to make the big step and… go to the admission at the National University of Theater from Bucharest I had the biggest deception of my life – I didn’t got in.
Why? Why? Why?... where the only intelligible thoughts my mind could generate.
Where did my talent go if I ever had any?!?
And after months of wondering, of feeling sorry for myself and being tired of a the hypocrisy within the famous university, things like “maybe you had a bad day!”/ “maybe it wasn’t meant to be this time”/ “it was only a test, nobody gets in from the first try, if you want it bad enough you must try again next year”, I was on the verge of giving up when something – actually someone put me back on track.
But as the story goes it wasn’t at all a coincidence, I don’t believe in such things, I prefer calling it faith or destiny or whatever else you prefer, it was actually more powerful than my own will. Some sort of twisted Serendipity.
I tried to abandon theater but it seemed Theater didn’t want to abandon me.
Like the cliché goes: "I didn't choose theater, Theater choose me!"
So there I was second year, taking again the exams at the National University , this time – I’ve prepared my self with a very talented actor, a great educator and a wonderful human being.
And yet it still didn’t work out as I dreamed of. How weird is it that sometimes you can succeed with things you didn’t even want at all in the first place and you can fail with things for which you worked your ass off, don't you agree?
I was going to live this saying to it’s deepest meaning.
I didn’t got into the "Acting/Drama Class" but into the "Acting/ Puppets and Marionettes Class".
Imagine my stupefaction cause I never wanted such a thing… Puppets and Marionettes??? That sounded so not for me, but for people who were interested in playing for children (ugh!) I didn't even knew there was such a major!… but as the saying goes “In for a penny, in for a pound”… I was in!
I will always remember the confession I’ve made to one of my university teachers when I stroke him with this question:
- Sir, How the hell did you accept me in your class when I didn’t even deserve it!?!
Because believe me, there were other people who really wanted to get in but didn't make it. And there I was in, without even really desiring it nor deserving it, I literally made a mock out of the entire exam.
I didn’t quite understood how this worked out… but you know what the teacher answered me???
“Luckily you were not the judge of your own talent here!”… he really shut my mouth from that day on.
Nonetheless from the same day on I tried to do my best, cause after all they were the one to give me a chance, the ones who believed in me.
It was very difficult to play behind a screen.
I didn't quite feel like fitting in.
I wanted people to see me, not some puppets, I recognize I was self-centered and egoistic and maybe still am sometimes but … Hey! Show me an actor who isn’t!
In hindsight, I can sincerely say that the major achievement of this University, of this particular Puppets and Marionettes Section, was the fact that it really made me rediscover the essence of theater, everything ever Diderot, Stanislavsky, Chekhov, Meyerhold, Strasberg, Grotowski and other theoreticians wrote about theater, especially the physicality of it, is best stressed in this kind of theater – Animation Theater. The word "animation" is not used randomly, in fact it means to animate, in the broadest sense of the word, which means giving life, movement and feelings.
Far away from being a theater for kids, like most of people erroneously think, it’s a kind of theater that involves both the art of acting and the art of handling, from this principle arises the famous saying “You can’t be a good puppeteer if you’re not a good actor!”
During these 3 years of university I literally learned the value of things. I mean we actually had to improvise scenes with objects…animated objects.
Me, for example, for my admission exams I improvised a scene from “Love Story” with an umbrella and a broom stick… guess who was who?
(Hey, I just had a revelation, maybe that's why I got in, it was a really cool scene I did there:)))
Furthermore at an exam from first year my colleagues animated things as: an anorak, scarves, cables, garbage cans, gloves and so on… some really exciting things can come up if you put your imagination to work.
Words usually become meaningless in The Animation Theater and you are forced to find new ways of expression.
And even if the majority still sees it as a minor theater genre it’s not at all like that.
It’s roots go back deep in the Ancient times (you'll have to trust me on this one as I wrote my BA paper on this subject)
Puppetry is literally an ancient form of performance.There is a theory sustaining that the masks of the Ancient actors derive in fact from the marionettes used at that time and not vice versa. There is evidence that they were used in Egypt as early as 2000 BC when string-operated figures of wood were manipulated to perform the action of kneading bread, and other string controlled objects. Wire controlled, articulated puppets made of clay and ivory have been found in Egyptian tombs. Marionette puppetry was used to display rituals and ceremonies using these string-operated figurines.
Marionettes are sometimes referred to as "puppets", but the term "marionettes" is more precise, distinguishing them from other forms of puppetry, such as finger, glove, rod and shadow puppetry.
And just to make things clear : A marionette is a puppet controlled from above using wires or strings depending on regional variations. A marionette's puppeteer is called a manipulator. Marionettes are operated with the puppeteer hidden or revealed to an audience by using a vertical or horizontal control bar in different forms of theaters or entertainment venues. They are also used in films and on television.
Ok! Ok! Enough with the history lesson, we don’t want to bore anyone so let’s peek behind the curtains of the Animation Theater.
Leaving aside all the deficiencies (which were a lot!) of the university system, I’m proud of the fact that I went to a university with Tradition. Unfortunately it wasn’t me to become aware of this, it was our history of theater professor to remind us that, on the first day of the rest of our lives. If my memory still serves me well, his actual words were “Be grateful that you had the chance to study in a university with Tradition. Tradition can’t be learned, it can only be gained in years of preparation, you’ve inherited the Tradition and no one can ever take that away from you, it's your legacy. You’ll never get read of it!”… he concluded giggling.
I will always remember with bitter sweet pleasure those acting exercises that we used to criticize so much some times, in our first year. But now after having read Viola Spolin and after some years of growing up…guess what? It all makes sense now. Even tough I will never agree with the “method” (if she had any) of that Madam Professor. Meanwhile I noticed that she did some progress in really wanting to understand and help the students but unfortunately nowadays only few professors are real educators. Far away from me the thought of generalizing, but it’s very difficult to educate another human being, it really requires lots of talent and even more patience and commitment.
And not to mention the tone of actors-professors who don’t give a damn or who haven’t got the slightest idea of what they’re doing to and with the students. Like one of my colleagues said “Nowadays unfortunately the one’s who don’t get to be actors, get to be professors!”… it can seem a little bit rough but trust us…we’ve been there.
Still, there have been also some great moments and things I would never have learned in any other place so let’s continue with the happy side of story… for the moment.
I will never forget this hilarious chapter from the first year when we had to build our own puppets and after a laborious work of two weeks, all the puppets where the exact same reflection of the persons who built them.
In our training as future actors we also had to train our body. So when it came to dance classes we all… sucked. In the first year when we studied the basics of ballet – we were like drunken swans. There were one or two girls in the class who seemed to catch the moves but still… it just didn’t feel right. Our dance teacher was very passionate but in the same time was very very subjective… so she discouraged many of us.
A Tip for the Future, Dear Teacher: try to be less subjective and maybe then you will have the show you dreamed of… with the whole class… not only with your favorites students. No offense taken!
Ok… I wanted to sum up the first year but I can’t go further without mentioning the superfluous aspect of some classes. Don’t throw stones at me! It’s my story so I’m aloud to write what I feel (felt) at the time history was writing itself.
I ask you, people and artists out there, how can you build something when you don’t have the proper tools nor the knowledge of how-to.
In a nutshell, metaphorically speaking this was the problem with the so called course - the animation technique. We were suppose to do some animated shorts from A to Z – from script to filming- in one week with a professor who never saw the dramatic potential in any of our ideas and who thus was always dismissing us… the same professor who came up with those brilliant words about judging ones talent.
Anyways, I have nothing personal with him, I swear, he’s a great actor, but it takes more than some jokes (the “method” he usually adopted) to stimulate my imagination and catch my interest. Plus he was always so indecisive and was asking himself and us by that matter tones of rhetorical questions … I really tried to compare him to L. Strasberg (who also used to ask the actors tone of questions), but it still was blurry, cause Strasberg was always getting somewhere in the end. Unfortunately I never had the chance to get to that “end” with our professor.
Still I wish him luck with the next generations. Or should I wish luck to the students?
“Forgive me MR. Professor, now I’m only being mean!”
There is even a joke made up for you Mr. professor… and it goes like this:
You at the therapist:
-“ Hello doctor! I think I have a problem… OR NOT!”
Got it?...
I really hope that if you’ll read these lines, you won’t be angry with me, I rely on your sense of humor, plus I truly loved all the shows you’ve played in.
Good Heavens! I almost forgot about this strange marionette professor from the first year who’s purpose was to…to… not even now do I know what he wanted to teach us besides how a marionette walks . I understand it’s a big deal, that it’s the basics and that it’s the important technique of walking but – seriously? – one year for this?(we’re only apprentices not persons with special needs) – not to mention the songs we were forced to hear in the background over and over again – Madonna “Like a virgin” and “La isla bonita”…again… Seriously???
But, hey, we all enjoyed those yoga techniques and those bonding circles we were doing for relaxation or what so ever. Meanwhile I did some research on my own and discovered that yoga it’s actually great, it’s mainly a technique based on breathing and you don’t have to look like an alien (like my teacher did – always with those lost eyes) to practice yoga. It’s true it gives you some kind of new awareness but let’s not exaggerate.
Damn it! I keep forgetting that I was in a University of Artists where you suppose to look bizarre and act strange and smoke your soul out. Yep, unfortunately lately the university was starting to look more and more like a bar from the Wild Wild West rather than a University.
Last but not least I have to mention in my humble story the Diction and the Singing classes.
We had two very opposite teachers who were always fighting for us. Their class was supposed to be held together, but that never happened due to the fact we were so “talented” so none of them wanted to share us (not because of the rivalries between them, God forbid!)
It’s true that we were a small class… but still… there was this kind of Fight Club between these two.
Anyways, if at first, in the class we were 13, afterwards somewhere along the road we lost 4 people… not eternally lost, but they have choosen other paths.
I guess it’s true what Chekhov's character Nina says “In this labor, what matters the most it’s not the fame, nor the success, nor anything we dreamed of, but our power to endure.”
Back to the professors, so these two professors, they were really some characters (it’s so unfair I’m not aloud to put pictures… so I count on your imagination!).
The Diction professor was a little bit grotesque sometimes with his whimsical visions about how to save the nation, and moreover the world, but when it came to theater he really knew a lot, he’s like this ambulant encyclopedia. It’s true that he did bored us with the same exercises year after year, it’s funny ZO-ZE RO-ZE BO-ZE ( or “The rain in Spain is mainly in the plane”), but too much of anything will kill you or at least make you sick to your stomach.
Still I owe him a lot because he is one of the professors who was always involved unconditionally, who really cared and never missed a class. People say he’s a little bit crazy, but crazy as he is, he never refused a student who asked for help, professionally speaking. Nevertheless I feel like his diction courses helped me develop as an actor and that’s a big deal for me.
As it concerns the Singing professor, he was always funny to look at, a little bit of Malvolio, a little bit of Shakespeare’s fouls… the man I-Know-Them-All.
But what I appreciated in him, was that he also tried to teach us something – didn’t really make it most of the times, but hey, can’t kill a man for trying, on the contrary.
We forgive him that he didn’t pronounce good any of the foreign songs, especially those in English, if he forgives us for making his ears bleed sometimes.
Kind reminder:
To teach is a very interesting verb and it goes like this :
1. To impart knowledge or skill to;
2. To provide knowledge of; instruct in;
3. To condition to a certain action or frame of mind;
4. To cause to learn by example or experience;
5. To advocate or preach;
6. To carry on instruction on a regular basis;
Synonyms : teach, instruct, educate, train, school, discipline.
All you teachers out there take your time and analyze very carefully this verb!!!
Thanks in advance!
Even tough sometimes I won’t admit it, this university left some big marks in my life.
For example, nowadays at my place I have a lot of toilet paper, I’m never out of toilet paper… come on, ask me why?
Why?
Well… because during the three years of study we never had any toilet paper at the university, and to quote another colleague of mine who recently wrote a song on this theme (imagine how much has this affected us!) “We have no toilet paper cause some people from the Acting Class eat a lot of shit and they need it" – the toilet paper.
O.K enough with the epic lyrics let’s skip to the second year.
Second year- basically the same characters – with one or two new arrivals. The same grey background with dirty class rooms and no decent space for rehearsals.
Luckily we had the chance to study this great module called Commedia dell'Arte - finally we were feeling alive, we were motivated each day to come to school even if we had bruises all over our body, because Commedia dell'Arte is far from being as easy as it sounds. The final product is amazing but the whole technique implies a tough discipline and lots of training. The professor who held this class really deserves her title.
Congrats dear professor! You were one of the first to be objective, you didn’t seek revenge when we had a conflict and thanks to you I came to university each time with a burning desire to create something, even if once you made me faint (on the scene) almost fifty times .
And another thumbs up for this teacher is that she fought with the system to take us abroad at a Festival in Serbia – and she won, actually we all won. Why is it such a big deal you may ask your selves? Well... taking in account that nobody from this university went to any international festival in the last 10 years – or at least that’s what I heard – she really did a great job. And she also taught us the art of Wayang and Bunraku puppets. My eternal respect!
The second year flew by without even realizing...
And there I was in the third year – preparing for the final curtain of this life event – but it’s keen… it’s not fair, we only started to get used to each other and know we had to put an end to it. This Bologna system isn’t very convenient for Artists.
Third year was by far the most difficult one. Besides the fact that there is a lot at stake, there are also many emotions involved, and as we all know, artists tend to overreact a little bit when it comes to emotions. But thanks God, I had the chance to work with a wonderful professor. I really think his name suits him very well – Apostle – like one of Jesus’ apostles.
The show case we worked on – “Nothing happened here – Atra Bilis” by Laila Ripol - was a huge challenge because, we – four young girls - had to play four aged women.
First of all he gave us confidence by believing in our project. And as I see it, confidence is very difficult to find nowadays, it’s very expensive. Second of all he made us aware of our talent, which again is huge… usually people, even professors, tend to diminish your talent in order to keep you down. Helas! You might outrun them!
And he did all this Sisyphus work with a smile on his face (if it’s hard to work with women - imagine with four young stubborn artist girls!). You couldn’t tell when he was joking or when he was serious, that’s what made him even more special.
But when it came to acting everything was sacred . He kept us together when we were on the verge of falling apart( show cases can put a lot of pressure on young inexperienced actors and transform them in a very strange way… another whole story… back to the Apostle), he taught us to work as a team.
He brought some kind of clearness in my head, and he really showed us the strong connection between the actor and the puppet, between the acting and the handling. I always knew it must be like this but two years I only dreamt about it. As it concerns my grade to him, he honestly deserves an A+. And if I were to describe the perfect professor, he’s the ONE.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart Sir - Chapeau Bas! – you’ve really made my year.
Oh, and for those of you who think I’m kissing asses, you too are kissing them… but I guess you are kissing the wrong ones! When it’s a genuine ass it asks to be kissed, metaphorically speaking of course.
And I can’t go further if I don’t mention (again!) our great History of Theater professor. He's another teacher from whom I’ve learned enormous. He told me once that when I write a story or something else it’s forbidden to use a person’s real name so unfortunately I can’t mention his.
Let’s call him Mr. V… so Mr. V made each and every single course spicy, his history was never boring like histories usually are. Noooo sir!
We were so eager to find out who’s who, how many mistresses Moliere had, what’s the sexual orientation of Tennessee Williams, how did Eugene O’Neil drink his life of, the love affair of Arthur Miller and Marlin Monroe, et cetera.
Mr. V made all these huge names of the History of Theater seem so human.
Thank you Mr. Professor and keep up the good work!
Overall this university opened my horizons and if you can arrive at the finish line with your personality unblemished and if you don’t change you character somewhere along the road, it can really mean a lot.
I totally agree that you must be flexible if you chose to do this work but this doesn’t mean you have to change who you are.
I, now, understand better what “insiders” from the university were warning me first year when I was still a rookie: “Be aware! Don’t change the way you are, keep this genuine smile for as long as possible! Don’t let them change you!”.
Like I was saying, only now, I can understand better these words, cause there is this real danger to fall into the realm of“ bohemian” - “I-don’t give a damn-Nobody understands me-I-am-an-artist-crap!".
The reverse of the medal is that in this university with so many weak points we also gained some strengths. Like the strength to believe in one’s self, the power to say to your self any time : “I’m the most talented, the most beautiful, the most…!”. Although this doesn’t help you in every audition it can be useful for self-confidence.
Oh, oh, and another great part in being an artist student was that we had the chance to see (tax free) all the shows we wanted and we were encouraged to read a lot… I know I surely did take advantage of this ( I saw literally hundreds of plays, hundreds of movies and read as many books). That makes you forget for a while that you might not have a job when you finish your postgraduate studies… but hey, it’s democracy, that’s how it works, everybody will open his own private theater school (I saw that’s a new trend) and we will all be actors, yeeeeey!...
NOT!!!
Anyways even if I don’t get to practice what I studied – I will always have… Paris!- No, wait! – that’s the line from Casablanca- I will always have all the theater in my mind and in my soul. But this is just a crazy thought, of course I will do Theater! I don't take No for an asnwer:D
I think I should stop right here, cause an artist must take his time for inspiration to come…
Neah, just joking! I don’t wait for inspiration to come, I demand her to follow me and in change I give her (Why her? cause Thalia - the muse of theater) all my undivided attention and nourish her as much as I can.
Or in a nutshell like Daniil Harms so well put it:
“It’s not enough to have talent. Besides this you still need energy, real interest, purity of thought and the sense of duty.”
(My credo!)
P.S I forgot to mention my choreography teacher, whose course even if it was optional, it was a real encounter with our body as an instrument,a journey from outside to inside, a unique expression of body language, a true expression of BodyArt.
And if I didn't mention anything about my colleagues yet it’s because I want to see first their reactions to my story ( in order to know how to build their characters afterwards).
Anyway I really enjoyed being their colleague - we were all so different but sometimes so alike.
Our ideologies may have separated us sometimes but our passion, our dreams and anguishes brought us together. So, for them I’ll write another story cause we do share a lot of memories.
P.P.S and if we talked about professors I owe special thanks to the professor who taught me how to express my feelings in writing (another great plus of the university – the work-shops I've attended). His name is Eric Trules (yes, I've disclosed his name, I'm pretty sure he won't mind, he comes from La La Land) and he gives honor to his profession. Thank you dear professor!
P.P.P.S If you have a dream hold on to it, no matter how hard or absurd it is.
And if I’m writing it down it’s because I also want to believe in it more!
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